Season of Hytalia Read online

  During Hytalia, the season of heavy rainfall, we were forced inside more often than in Talium. We were safe on our property in the dark; however, shelter from the rain was prime real estate, and we all had to share it. I knew that I may not get another opportunity to tell Calish about the baby in the next couple of days. If I was going to tell him, now was the time.

  “You know what?” He sat back.

  I sighed and looked at the door. “What?” I humored him.

  “We should go for a ride.” He slapped the tops of his legs.

  “A ride?”

  “Yeah, why not?” He stood up. “We can take Rebel. The hunts are over, I’m sure he needs to stretch, you would benefit from some fresh air, and I want to see something other than this parcel.” He finished his soup and put our dishes in the sink.

  “Calish, I don’t want to leave.” Panic crept up my spine at the idea of being outside the property.

  He knelt and took my hands. “Do you trust me, Una?”

  I nodded hesitantly.

  “It’s settled then.” He stood up again. “You get dressed, and I’ll clean up here.” He smiled.

  I didn’t want another adventure, but if we went somewhere private, I would have a chance to tell him without the fear of being interrupted by a family member. I changed into something that would be somewhat water-resistant and washed my face. Calish put some nuts in a glass jar along with a few meat strips for the trip. When we were ready, he opened the door for me, and I stepped outside the house.

  The rain had lightened up a bit and was now a drizzle, almost a mist. The sky was gray and dark still, but the sun was out to make it bright across the natural filtering of the clouds. I even saw a blinding spot of blue in the distance above the trees. It had been a while since I’d been in the light, and it made me squint.

  “Good morning, sweetheart,” Father called from the pigs’ new area. He and Marsh were securing the fence rails using wire rope.

  I raised my hand and waved at them.

  “You go get Rebel, I’ll let them know we’re going.” Calish kissed me on the cheek.

  My father’s expression was less than satisfied by Calish’s gesture, but I didn’t let it faze me. Soon enough, my father would have something significant to anger him. This was nothing.

  Rebel stood under a tree where it was dry. When he saw me, he didn’t come right away like he once had. I wondered if he sensed the wolf blood in me. Would it ruin his affection for me? If he didn’t come, I’d know why. It would hurt me, yet I wouldn’t hold it against him. He was an animal, and while Paw might be able to explain it to him, I most certainly could not.

  Calish came to my side. “Is he mad at you?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  “Could he smell the pup on you?”

  “Maybe.”

  He shouted for the horse. “Come here, boy!” Calish produced a carrot root to bribe him. Rebel sniffed the air and walked slowly toward us. “There you are, boy,” he said, giving him the tasty treat.

  “I guess he’s yours now.” I reached out to touch my old friend, only to watch him recoil.

  “Ah, he’s just not used to your new look.” He grinned, brushing the ends of my short hair with his fingertips. Shivers traveled down my neck, making my skin tingle and reminding me all of this was real.

  “Come on out, big guy.” He slapped the top of the pasture fence. The horse stepped back and made a run for our side, clearing it as expected. Calish got on first then helped me up to sit in front of him.

  “Much better,” he whispered in my ear. “Now, let’s go before Father tries to stop us.” He gave Rebel a little kick, and we headed out of the yard, across the bridge over the gulch, and onto the road.

  “Where are we going?”

  “Somewhere new.” He put his arms around me and squeezed lovingly. His hand spread across my abdomen. Did he know? Would he if he didn’t move? My hand lay on top of his as I tried to prepare myself for the overdue conversation in an unfamiliar place.

  Chapter 2

  Calish knew exactly where we were going. We headed out to the road that led to the river and diverted south away from it. The last time I’d been out this way was two seasons ago when my father and I went to the Daxin house to borrow the mud oxen. We passed their turnoff and continued on a bit further before heading into the forest to the right.

  I’d never been out this far before. “Is this where you used to hunt?”

  “Yep. It was always full of wildlife out here. I bet you’ll see some if the wolves didn’t take it all.”

  One of my oldest memories was of Father bringing meat home after spending a few days with Mr. Daxin. “Why don’t you go anymore?”

  “I think it has something to do with Marsh,” he answered. “Once I reached a certain age, Father started taking me. ‘Medallions don’t make you a man,’ he told me once. ‘A man is defined by his ability to adapt and survive.’ Marsh overheard the conversation and got a little jealous. So, after a few lessons of shooting bales of hay, he brought us out here. It ended so badly, we never took him again.”

  “What happened?”

  “Hunting is hard work and not always successful. Days pass and you don’t see anything. Other times, you can’t get a clean shot. Father never took aim on an animal he couldn’t put down. He said there were four rules to the task: see, confirm, kill, and don’t waste the life taken. All are required in that order. If we couldn’t satisfy a single one, we’d let the thing go or wait it out in hopes our situation would improve. One year, a huge buck pushed through the underbrush, but it would have been too big to move. Sure, we could have killed it and lived on it for a couple of seasons, but there was no way we’d ever be able to bring it home. So, we let it pass.”

  “Too much of a good thing?”

  “Yeah, well, anyway, after two days of tiptoeing around, we got lucky. As if the gods sent her to us, a doe wandered into the clearing. She nibbled on the clover in the filtered sun, her tail calm and still. I’ve never seen a cleaner target. Father held up four fingers, reminding us of the rule, and when Marsh nodded his understanding, Father signaled for him to take the shot.

  “I remember he pulled his arrow taut—so taut his arm trembled—but he never let it go. Nothing had passed us the whole time we were there, not so much as a rabbit to take. We couldn’t let her go. Afraid the doe would spook and run, Father gave me the signal. I put her down myself, and Marsh went mad. He snapped his bow and arrow over his knee and threw his quiver on the dirt. I don’t know what made him more angry: taking his shot or actually killing the creature.”

  Calish didn’t know about Marsh’s history. He didn’t know our brother was an orphan, like me, or that his parents were murdered by a hunting party who left him pinned to a tree to die.

  That’s why he didn’t shoot the doe.

  “Was that the last time you hunted?” I asked.

  “Not for me. Father felt it was an important skill to have, given my future. He and I came out a couple of times after that, but that was it. Shortly thereafter, Father claimed some livestock although I don’t know how. I wonder if I’d still be competent with a bow and arrow. I rivaled Father back then.”

  “I never knew Father knew archery.”

  “From what Mother told me, he competed at the festival when he was younger.” He ducked to miss a low-hanging branch. “Marsh always preferred the pipe and thistle spear. For some reason, he refused to touch so much as a feather after that day.”

  I know why.

  It would have been inappropriate to reveal Marsh’s secrets, so I changed the subject. “It looks like the rain has stopped.” I looked up, unable to see anything other than the underside of evergreen branches. Water fell in the distance, and by the sound, I assumed it to be a brook rather than a waterfall.

  “Believe it or not, it actually stays pretty dry under all these trees.” He patted Rebel on the neck, signaling the horse to stop.

  Calish dismounted and helped me down
. He took my hand and led me through some thick shrubs to a creek. We followed along a game trail beside it until we reached an old abandoned stick-framed house. Most of the siding was missing, possibly reclaimed for other purposes, and what remained was rotting away.

  “I figured that if it started to rain, we would at least stay dry.” He sat down in the middle of the vacant shelter.

  “How did you know about this place?” The beams in the ceiling above housed various insects. Spider webs stretched across open corners, and dried bird nests tucked into the small spaces between the rafters. All things unused ended up reclaimed by someone or something.

  Calish collected a couple of pebbles from the floor and tossed them outside. “This was Father and Mr. Daxin’s cabin, although it looks a little worse for wear now.”

  “I didn’t know he had this.”

  “It was never like the house. Being so far out, they only used it while hunting. We’d sleep here at night, and after a kill, we’d hang them up there and sort out who got what. I guess since we’ve practically abandoned this place, it’s fallen apart. I don’t remember it being this overgrown and in disrepair.” Calish leaned back, propped up with one elbow, assessing the structure above.

  A bird flew around the rafters and back out again. I assumed one of the nests up there was its home. Now that we were here, the feathered owner must have decided to stay away a little longer.

  “Why did you bring me here, Calish?”

  “I hoped if I got you alone, you’d tell me what happened to you. I know what you told us already, but I know there’s more. Either you’re hiding something, or you didn’t tell us the truth. I’m sure you have your reasons, so I didn’t bother asking. You’ve been through so much, I guess I expected you to be withdrawn, but,” he sighed, “you’re just so distant.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t know if I’m ready to talk about it, Calish.”

  “Something tells me you should.” He sat up. “You’ve been in bed for days. You’re skin and bone. Are you surprised that I’m worried about you? That all of us are? If you tell me what’s going on, I can help you work through it.”

  “You’re right, I didn’t tell you everything. There’s a reason for that. Right now, I don’t want to remember any of it.” I traced the healed scar across the palm of my hand.

  Calish took my hand in his and kissed it. “I love you. You know that right?”

  I nodded, unable to stop my lower lip from quivering.

  “I’m sorry, Una, what did I do to make you cry?” He pulled me close to him, but I resisted.

  “There’s something you should know, I just don’t know how…” I turned from his gaze.

  “Just say it.” He lifted my chin to find my eyes.

  “Calish,” I swallowed, “I’m, I’m…”

  “You’re what?” He took my hands in his.

  My tongue dried to the roof of my mouth, and I started to shake. Once these words were spoken, I would never get them back. What would happen once he knew the truth? The whole truth? I didn’t know where to start. Do I tell him about Blue, or do I tell him about the baby?

  He waited for my answer, patiently.

  I blew into my eyes to stop crying. “I love you, Calish.”

  He touched my face, wiping away the tear that escaped. “I know that.”

  My eyes shut tight. If this is a dream, now would be the time to wake up.

  “Oh, gods, Una, you misunderstand my intentions.” He pulled back. “I didn’t bring you here to—”

  “No.” I stopped him. I wish that was the reason for my behavior. Honestly, I wanted his touch, but not before he knew the truth.

  “As much as I enjoyed it, I mean you, I have no expectations of you.”

  I put my hand up to stop him from saying any more. “Calish, I didn’t for a moment think you brought me out here for that. Don’t worry.”

  “Then what did you need to tell me?” He ran his fingers through his wavy hair to rid himself of the curl that tickled his forehead.

  It wasn’t fair to make him wait any longer. “Do you remember me telling you about the Petition to the Authority that Blue submitted?”

  “The one about his offer for you and the house?”

  “Yeah, that one.” I inhaled deeply. “They responded in a letter the night they delivered me to him.”

  He sat back, anticipating what I would say next. “They gave it to him. He did it, didn’t he?”

  I nodded.

  He gazed into the woods behind me. As the inevitability of my future set in, his head bobbed, and he exhaled audibly. “I shouldn’t be surprised. At least you won’t be sold off to some stranger. It doesn’t matter, you’ll be here with me, I mean us, for a little while longer. You’re not ready for marriage.” He pressed his lips together in a forced smile that faded as I shook my head in woeful disagreement.

  “What?” Calish squinted his eyes. “Why are you shaking your head no?”

  “He has the rights to me now.”

  “Impossible! You’ve not reached Womanhood yet!”

  “Apparently, it doesn’t matter.”

  He sprang up, his jaw tight and fists tighter. Every word started with stammered speech, the incomplete word abandoned for some other question. His eyes searched for a place to land, and when they found mine, he was too weak to keep them for more than a moment. Giving up on language altogether, he shuffled to the edge of the warped wood floor, his hands digging into his hips.

  The breeze subsided, and the birds fell silent. I would have thought time itself had stopped if I didn’t catch the soft sniffle from the man I had crippled with so few words.

  He wiped the side of his face with the back of his hand before grabbing onto the crossbeam above his head. His knuckles turned white against the worn wood of fonder memories.

  “So that’s it, then?” he asked the woods, still facing away from me.

  “No, not really…”

  He released his grip and spun around. “There’s more?”

  I nodded, holding my breath.

  Calish waited with his arms crossed, pulling his shoulders together as if his entire being would fold in on itself and collapse at any moment.

  I started to cry. “I’m, um…” I pursed my lips, not wanting to say anything more to upset him.

  His arms flung out to either side of him, exposing his heart to accept the words that he expected to shoot through it. Like a target, awaiting a well-aimed arrow, he yelled, “What else could there possibly be, Una?”

  The thunder in his voice startled me, and the truth tumbled out as a jagged rock of fearful honesty instead of the tender way I intended it to. “I’m pregnant!”

  His body went limp. “You’re what?”

  “I’m pregnant.”

  “Perfect.” He turned his back to me as if that would prevent the truth from oozing into the wound I caused.

  “Calish.” I stood.

  “Don’t, Una,” he warned sternly, suggesting I should keep my distance. “Congratulations. I’m happy for you, both of you.” He leaned into a beam to support himself. His shoulders heaved, and unable to suppress his grief, he hung his head in defeat and cried.

  I walked to his side and touched him. “Calish?”

  “Don’t!” He jerked his arm away, determined not to let me see his face. Suddenly, my proximity to him didn’t seem to matter. With a face twisted in a mangled combination of hatred and jealousy, he glared at his fist as his fingers repositioned themselves for a fight. His swing, although not intended for me, caused me to flinch. With his first assault on the corner beam, dust leaped from higher places of the abandoned shelter. Huffing and snarling, Calish punched it again, splitting his skin on the roughened and aged wood.

  Before he offered the structure more blood, I clutched his arm and fought against his strength pushing me away.

  “It’s not his!” I screamed.

  This time, he didn’t move away. He stared at me from the corner of his eye, confused and still breathi
ng heavily. I slipped between him and his chosen object of release, laying my hand on his pounding heart. A Healer would do the same, but it was not the wounds of flesh I wished to repair.

  “It’s not his, Calish.”

  He blinked.

  “You’re the only man I’ve ever been with.”

  He slapped the tears from his cheeks. “Me?”

  I took his hand. “You’re the only one it could be.”

  He knelt on one knee, still holding my hand. He touched my abdomen with new emotion flooding his eyes. “I’m going to be a father?”

  I nodded.

  “Does anyone else know?”

  “Mother does,” I confessed. “I told her it’s not Blue’s, but I didn’t tell her about us.”

  “If she knows it’s not his but doesn’t know it’s mine, who does she think the father is?”

  Ashamed to admit the truth, I squirmed. “I didn’t say exactly. I’m pretty sure she assumes it was someone from the prison.”

  “My gods, Una, you let her think that someone attacked you?”

  “So I should have told her about us? That’s your suggestion? If it got back to Blue, what would he do to you? What do you think he’ll do to me or the baby, once he finds out?” The fear in my voice seemed more desperate hearing it out loud.

  Calish heard it in my voice. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He pulled me down to him and into his lap where he held me tenderly. “We can’t let you go to him.”

  “We may not have another choice. I haven’t been able to think about anything else since I got home.” I rested my head on his shoulder.

  “We’ll leave. I’ll build this place back up. We can hide you here.”

  “Someone would find us eventually. When they did, we’d be given no mercy, any of us. I now understand what Father means when he says there are things worse than losing one’s birthright.”